It's almost the end of my first year of college life. I've passed the ups and downs of being the architecture student in my college which is a roller coaster riding. To me, college gives you 20% of science, 30% of experience to explore what you like and dislike, and the rest 50% to understand about life and people. Back to when I was high school, surely I bet everyone did, dreamed about a happy and free problems college life. thought how sucks high school was, learning stuffs I might not even use in my daily life. But college would be different. I chose my major study, I know more or less what kind of profession or job I might take as I graduate later. College life with its less studying time and more holiday.
Encountering my second semester, to my surprised I started to disappoint myself thinking about just if i was wrong taking my major. I chose my major for something I dreamed, not for something I am passionate about. But I was telling myself how i would work hard for it. Give all my best work to learn about it because I wanted to say that I can do it too. I am not good at drawing which is a stereotype of every archi student. People say "Wow, you're studying at Architecture? You're good at drawing huh?" that similar statement running circle in my head and I was like "No, it doesn't have to be like that anyway. I am willing to study the principle. But practicing at the same time."
Tons of problems slapped me on the face like a pouring rain that never stops. I started to asked god Why?
For sometimes in my first semester I faced the problems but it didn't last. It came and go.
In the second semester, I feel such a terrible homesick. I know I'm not the only one who's living miles away from the hometown.
BUT. It's hard to explain how people started to act so depressing. I found my passion among my dissencouragement of college life. And people judge it as if it's the worst decision I've ever take. All they can judge is you are here to study about architecture and make good relation with the people you called as friends in the same major. Soon, they judge me changed. That I am not the one they used to know back in the first time. I giggled inside. Them people knew me a little. It's not even a year yet. How can they judge they know me and knowing that I've changed? They said how worry they are just if I wasn't aware of that. Somehow, i always know what people here talking about behind my back. Some are true, some are false. But I only have two hands to cover up my ears and pretend like i don't hear anything. Such a part of spongebob soundtrack saying "I can't hear youuuu".
Here you can find people in many different type: double-faced people, dozen-faced people, hundred-faced people. Well, you can't count how many layers of mask they have. Sometimes i felt for being used. My daddy said it's naturally human being character. "How can i earn more with less effort". Betrayal, gossip, rebellion, sarcasm, all the things i would never imagine.
Well, I am writing this not to specify a name or anything. It's just a real life that is getting harder for me these days. I just want people to know that you can learn life from the hardship of other people. Means, experience is the best teacher doesn't always have to be your own experience. I still believe that rainbow comes after the rain, and that there's sunshine after the storm. During this two semester, I had many great times too. Some were touchy, some were meaningful, some were just a one moment hyped. For all my younger brothers and sisters who's about to face college life. I am here not to dissencourage you. You are the one who can make the most of your college life experience. The key is to love what you do and remember what and whom you're struggling for. if you find it's hard to love what you do, learn how you can love what you do in your own way. When the stumbles and falls seem hard, remember that God sent you here and it'll never be wrong addressed. Look back to your last year of senior high and see how you've come so far to reach your place. Remember the friends who wished they were your college mate but they failed. Remember to always put academic first because your parents pay for it and money comes to them uneasy.